Your Massage Therapist Can Tell You’re Stressed Before You Say a Word

You walk into your massage appointment, answer the usual questions, and say something along the lines of:

“I’m doing pretty good. Just a little tight in my shoulders.”

Meanwhile, your body may be telling a completely different story.

Massage therapists spend their days working with bodies, and over time, they become very good at noticing the subtle ways stress shows up physically. They are trained massage for stress.

The shoulders that refuse to drop.

The jaw that stays clenched.

The breath that never quite makes it past the chest.

The person who is lying on a warm massage table in a quiet room…and still seems ready to jump up and tackle the next thing on their to-do list.

Sometimes, your massage therapist can tell you’re stressed before you even realize just how stressed you are.

Your Shoulders Are Practically Touching Your Ears

This is probably one of the easiest signs to spot and a massage for stress can help.

When we’re stressed, we tend to unconsciously brace ourselves. The shoulders creep upward, the muscles around the neck tighten, and eventually that guarded position starts to feel normal.

You may not even notice you’re doing it.

Then your massage therapist begins working through your upper trapezius, neck and shoulders and discovers muscles that feel like they’ve been working overtime.

And sometimes they have.

Hours at a computer, driving, looking down at a phone and repetitive movements can certainly contribute to shoulder tension. But emotional stress can add another layer of muscle guarding on top of all of it.

You’re Breathing…But Barely

Take a second and notice where your breath is going right now.

Does your abdomen expand?

Or are you taking small breaths primarily into your upper chest?

Stress can change the way we breathe. When the nervous system is on high alert, breathing often becomes quicker and shallower.

One of the most interesting things we see during massage is the moment that begins to change.

Your breathing gets slower.

Then deeper.

And eventually comes that big, involuntary sigh.

Massage therapists love that sigh.

It usually means your body is finally starting to let go.

Your Jaw Is Doing More Work Than You Think

You don’t have to grind your teeth at night to carry tension in your jaw.

Some people clench while concentrating.

Some do it while driving.

Some press their tongue against the roof of their mouth.

Others hold their jaw tight all day without realizing it.

Jaw tension can also travel. The muscles around the jaw, face, temples, neck and shoulders all interact, which is why someone complaining about headaches or neck tension may also be carrying significant tension around the jaw.

If your massage therapist asks whether you clench your teeth, there’s probably a reason and a massage for stress can help to alleviate that clenching .

Your Hands Won’t Completely Relax

This one surprises people.

You’re lying on the table, but your hands are still slightly curled.

Your fingers may be gripping the sheet.

Your wrists may remain stiff.

Your arms don’t quite become heavy.

It’s another version of that unconscious “ready” position.

Your brain knows you’re getting a massage.

Your body hasn’t gotten the memo yet.

You’re Helping Your Massage Therapist Move You

If you’ve ever heard:

“Just let me have your arm.”

…this may be you.

Your therapist lifts your arm or leg to reposition it, and instead of allowing it to be completely heavy, you immediately help.

It sounds like such a tiny thing, but it’s incredibly common in people who have trouble switching off.

You’re still participating.

Still anticipating what’s coming next.

Still trying to be helpful.

Sometimes relaxation means allowing yourself to do absolutely nothing—even when someone picks up your arm.

Your Muscles Relax…and Then Tighten Right Back Up

A massage therapist may feel a muscle begin to soften under their hands only for it to tense again seconds later.

Sometimes that happens because an area is tender.

Other times, the body simply isn’t comfortable giving up its protective tension yet.

This is one reason deeper pressure isn’t always the answer.

If your nervous system perceives the pressure as something it needs to defend against, your muscles may actually brace harder.

A good massage isn’t a competition between your therapist and your tightest muscle.

Sometimes the most effective work happens when your body feels safe enough to stop guarding.

You Can’t Stop Thinking

Okay, technically, your massage therapist can’t read your mind.

But sometimes we can tell.

You adjust.

You sigh.

Your fingers move.

Your eyes open.

You suddenly remember something and ask what time it is.

Your phone is safely tucked away, but mentally you’re answering emails, making a grocery list and remembering that thing you forgot to do yesterday.

For some people, the hardest part of a massage isn’t physical relaxation.

It’s mental stillness.

And that’s okay.

You don’t have to force yourself to “clear your mind” to have a good massage. Often, as your body begins to settle, your thoughts eventually follow.

And Then…Your Body Finally Gives In

This is one of our favorite moments during a massage.

Your shoulders drop.

Your hands open.

Your breathing changes.

Your face softens.

Your body gets heavier against the table.

And sometimes…

you fall asleep.

Please know that falling asleep during your massage is not rude.

Neither is snoring.

In fact, if you’ve been running on stress for weeks and finally fall asleep on our table, we’re probably quietly thinking:

There it is.

Your nervous system finally decided it could clock out for a little while.

Stress Doesn’t Always Feel Like Stress

We tend to imagine stress as feeling anxious, overwhelmed or frazzled.

But sometimes stress feels like a headache every afternoon.

A stiff neck when you wake up.

A jaw that aches.

Shoulders that always feel tight.

Restless sleep.

Feeling physically exhausted even though you haven’t done anything particularly strenuous.

Or simply realizing you can’t remember the last time your entire body felt relaxed.

Your body keeps score of your routines, your posture, your workload and the tension you carry through your day.

And sometimes you don’t realize how much you’re holding until someone helps you put it down.

You Don’t Have to Wait Until Your Body Is Screaming at You

One of the biggest misconceptions about massage is that you need to be in pain before you have a “reason” to book one.

You don’t.

Massage can be part of taking care of yourself before your neck is completely locked up, before the tension headache arrives or before you reach the point where you desperately need a break.

Sometimes the reason is simply:

I’ve been carrying a lot lately, and my body feels it.

That’s reason enough.

At Urban Oasis Nashville, our massage therapists customize each session based on what your body needs that day—whether that’s focused therapeutic work, relaxation, or a little of both.

And if you get on the table insisting you’re “not really that stressed” while your shoulders are hovering somewhere around your ears?

Don’t worry.

We’ll figure it out.

Your body has a way of telling us.

Ready to Let Your Shoulders Drop?

Book your massage at Urban Oasis Nashville and give your body permission to stop doing, holding, bracing and thinking for a little while.

Schedule your stress relief here

Sometimes you don’t realize how much tension you’ve been carrying until you finally feel what it’s like to let it go.